It wasn't going to be easy listening to these CD's and now I didn't have internet access during my trip...hmmm I wonder if that was a bad thing or a good thing?
The next day my mother and father and I went to WalMart...did you know that they still sell portable CD players? I wasn't sure they did but I bought one and was ready to listen to the
CD's this way. This wasn't to be either because the anti-skip control on the CD player couldn't handle the delightful vibrations of my 1340CC V-Twin!
Noah and I set off on a Thursday morning to meet my brother and his friends near Pittsburgh. It was a beautiful morning and we found them right where they said they would be. The idea was to take back roads to Mansfield Ohio where our rooms were reserved for us for the weekend. By the end of the day...12 hours later, we were all ready to get off our bikes. The roads that we were on were not designed for the bike we were on and Noah and I had quite a day scraping the floor boards on both sides of the Harley in the curves.
I have been thoughtful about that ride and it seems to me that our intentions to slow down and take the back roads were short circuited by the schedule that we set for ourselves. We all have to understand that if we choose a slower pace we have to allow more time, or we will be more frustrated than ever. I was frustrated. What should have been a beautiful ride began to wear on us all and I regretted the plan.
If I'm going to begin living at a new pace I have to adjust my expectations as to what will be accomplished given the time I have available. I either have to take the 4 lane and move along in a straight line quickly or I have to take the two lane and plan on more time to arrive. If I want a slow pace without adjusted expectations I end up frustrated and disappointed. This seems like rudimentary stuff but there I was in the midst of it again.
I realized that my time on the road would take on two flavors. The first part of the trip I was riding in a group. I was with my parents and then my son and brother and then other friends in Indiana. The second part of my trip I would be alone. Even during the first part I was getting more time alone than I would normally be able to enjoy. I especially enjoyed the PA and midwest Sunrises...the sun looks like a huge red painting when it comes up because of all the humidity in the air. I greeted each day at sunrise and welcomed it like a friend. I prayed my prayers but I didn't not yet listen to the CD's and it felt like I was missing something important.
While I looked forward to the second part of my trip where I would be traveling alone, I worked at staying present with the friends and family that I was with. I especially enjoyed the time with my parents. It is good to be in their home and it is good to be there alone with them. I also enjoyed our time in Indiana with old friends. Lyn joined Noah and I there...by the time we met up there we had been apart for two long weeks and it was wonderful to be together again.
Noah and I, my brother and friends arrived in Ohio and the rooms were good and we ate more than we should have and we slept in anticipation of the next day when we would be able to bask in the glory of hundreds of motorcycles, modern and vintage. A foretaste of heaven!
Friday and Saturday were motorcycle nirvana. If you wanted to see it, it was there. I especially enjoyed the Vincents that were all parked together on a grassy spot under a shad canopy. They are amazing things and I can't help but think that motorcycles as art have never again reached to their level. The Vincent factory in England closed in 1955.
On Sunday Noah and I headed for Indiana and the home of our good friends Dan and Deb Van Gordon. I made the mistake of not making firm plans with them and I frustrated poor Deb because she had to scramble to prepare our room. I realized that this was a bit of self-centered thinking that I had to battle with, assuming that it was no problem, and not considering the way that other people think and prepare for a guest. I gained a new appreciation for our friends the Van Gordon's on this trip and even drank Bud Light with Lime for the first time.
Lyn joined us Sunday night, driving in from Rochester MN. It never ceases to amaze me how lucky I am to have such a wife. Incredible. We had a good week with friends in Angola, seeing those that we could and staying a bit hidden away so that we could rest. It was important to me to make sure that I honored the gift of this sabbatical by not trying to "fix" things and people...a practice that I hope to be able to continue when I am back to work.
One of the highlights of July was attending church at SonLight in Angola the next weekend. Lyn and I love SonLight very much. Of course I am not talking about the campus but the people, although the campus is lovely and has been improved quite a bit since we have left. It was so wonderful to see so many of our friends and it was good to see the church doing so well. I am grateful for the 6 years that we spend in Angola and know that God has permanently joined our hearts with many people who we have met there. The people of SonLight Community Church put up with a great deal of emotional and spiritual immaturity on my part and I am grateful for the grace and love that we felt when we were with them. Grace is a wonderful thing.
I had an insight yesterday about Grace that I will share later when my heart has a chance to steep in it for a time.
I realized something in Angola for the first time. The weariness and the sense of hollow that I was feeling when I asked the Quest for a Sabbatical time was about the same feeling that I had when I thought my time at SonLight was over. I am grateful for some growth and maturity that saw it for what it was and did not mistake it for a sign that I should move on. This, again, is a reflection of a life of ever deepening levels. What seems to be true at one point and is embraced as a surety can mean something completely different given a new perspective. This all is a process and it there is never an "arrival." It is not concrete and not for the faint of heart. We walk by Faith not by Sight. Even in this I know that somehow God brings us where we should be and his Grace covers even these things. He is a mystery and I live in constant wonder of his gifts.
Another amazing gift that I received in Angola was from my friend Todd who let me use an amazingly large amount of credit that he had at a local golf course. I didn't bring any of my golf stuff with me so Todd opened his account to me and the great people at Glendarin Hills took great care of me. Shirts, shoes, socks like I could never afford myself. The golf I played there took on a Zen like quality for me and it was refreshing to my soul. Thanks bro! It was good not having to move through one thing to get to another. I was able to be where I was doing what I was doing and not thinking about what would come next or when I had to be there. This was a new experience for me and I think it is important to annotate it and understand how to live this way when NOT on sabbatical.
It was time to leave Indiana. Lyn and Noah drove to MN to spend a few more days with Lyn 's family and then to fly home and I traveled back to my parents home. Partly because I felt I needed to spend more time with them and partly because I left some things there that I needed. If you remember I was in a real hurry when I left...
The ride there was uneventful except for rain, which actually was a beautiful thing too...it is good to feel a warm rain in the summer after only feeling the cold winter rains of Northern California for the last number of years. I arrived safe and sound and was again embraced by the bosom of my parents.
For a few days I was lost in the rhythm of Belleville again and I loved it very much. I am grateful for this time. I began to listen to the rhythm of creation, the rising and setting of the sun, the movement of the rabbits that come out of the fields in the evening, the quiet that descends in the night like a great blanket, and I realized that the world has a rhythm that was breathed out by the creator. If I am listening I can get in synch with it. My heart can beat with it and my breath can rise and fall with it. If I am not listening I constantly run into it and try to force my way through it. One way is synergy the other way is a fight.
Big Valley is a beautiful place and it is the picture that I feel that I should place in this blog entry. My mother and father have done a wonderful job of creating a beautiful life for themselves. My father pastors a church and shepherds the flock with a great love. On July 4th I was able to hear him give a sermon on the woman with the issue of blood from the Gospel. What a wonderful story. That story has been a gift to me during my whole trip. My mother cares for him and continues her art...stitching and quilting and creating in ways that constantly amaze me. My mother and father and I don't agree on everything but I love and respect them a great deal and I know that they feel the same way for me. It was good to spend time with my parents and I am grateful for the time that we had together.
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